Technology Through Our Eyes

'I don't wanthim to leavemum, I may not be a kid anymore, but you're still my parents'

I looked pitifully at my friends daughter, I really felt for her. She was 19 years old and my friend and her husband were unfortunately in the process of splitting up. It was in the middle of one of thosesunbathing in thegarden afternoons round at my friends that her daughter, who was herself back for the weekend from university decided to voice just how she felt about the split. I understood exactly how she felt as I thought back to the days when my parents were going through the same process.....

Back then I was a little younger then my friends daughter at 18 years old. I had moved out of my parents thinking I was all grown up, and shared a one bedroom flat in the same village with my boyfriend. I was still very close to my parents and spent much of my free time there, listening to my dad go on and on about his new venture in web designing.

I often found his knowledge in computers quite shocking as four years before when we'd acquired our firstpche had struggled to turn it on, asking me for advice on the basics of windows, never mind being capable of producing something good enough to publish on the world wide web. Yet now, he was amazing at anything computer related. He was always found sitting at hisPCdoing something creative, he had already produced his own website and it was brilliant, so it came as noshockthat he was thirsty for more.

On one of these afternoons passing time listening to dads new ideas and plans was when I first learnt that my parents had decided to go their separate ways. I wasn't surprised. I'd had a lovely childhood, but had always known they weren't happy together. I had heard many of the arguments and seen alot of upset no matter how hard theytried to hide it.I was pretty sure that this new found strength to actually split was only because I was the last of the children and had recently left home. What I was surprised to hear was that my dad was in love with somebody else, I hadn't expected that at all, so imagine my shock when I also learnt that this someone else was somebody he had never set eyes on but met through an online chat room!

'What?' I said in bemusement 'A chat room? Dad they're for losers!'

My dad didn't respond to my comment, just continued to stare at his PC aimlessly. All I could think, even though part ofme knew it would happen anyway,was that if it wasn't for the so called fantastic world wide web my parents wouldn't be splitting up right now, so it's not that fantastic is it. I felt angry and upset, almost like my childhood was being ruined by something that was happening years later, I kept trying to tell myself I'm all grown up now, but felt like a little child all over again.

Over the next few years as I continued to embrace adult hood and find my own way, work hard for a living, have fun with my friends, study and strive to make something of myself,I myself embracedthe world wide web and it become a fantastic very useful part of my life! Guess what I even started to use the odd chat room and made manywonderful friends from doing so.I learnt in snippets along the way aboutjust how unhappy some of my parents relationship together was, and that it was true they were staying together for 'the kids'. Obviously the more I matured the more I saw things differently.....

Now, as I sat in my friends garden watching her daughter break her heart over the split of her parents I found it difficult to iron out the creases in my mindthat the world of relationships seemed to cause. I knew full well my friend and her husband had only endured the last five years because of the 'the kids' just ike my parents had.

But, myself, I was nowa single mother of atoddler having split from his father due to the hurt, pain, tears and anger trying to keep the relationship together had caused. I thought about how since we parted there have been no arguments, no tears, no anger. My son adored his father and vice versa, and we'd gone from parents hating each other to best friends making the most of raising our son,our son never heard the shouting andupset that he would have done if we stayed together. So I found myself asking 'kids still hurt whentheir parents split no matter what their age,so is itactually evenworth staying together just for the kids?'